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I didn't set out to be an ordained, pole dancing mother of four, but in a colorful life, these things can happen.
Turns out, you can be a mother, passionately tend to the social, emotional, and spiritual health of young adults, AND swing from pole for fun.
Until now, I didn't spend much time talking about my 'off-brand' hobby of pole dancing. Not many people knew outside my family and close friends. I didn't pursue these disparate elements in my life to gain social media likes or to hustle for worthiness. I didn't intend to taunt the pearl-clutchers or to raise eyebrows. I did these things for me.
Some people just don't understand empowerment or living, and I've learned a few lessons along the way, some the hard way.
Lesson One:
It is a very good idea to do things and surround yourself with people who make you feel alive.
Alive is good; we don't give enough airtime to the feeling of being alive. You get one shot at life. You don't want to die young and live to a ripe old age.
Lesson Two:
You don't get to decide what is empowering for other people. We get to decide for ourselves what feels empowering for us.
Empowerment isn't one size fits all. It isn't scarce. There is plenty of empowerment to go around. You get to empower yourself with whatever you want: education, career, raising a family, praying, cross-stitch, butt cleavage. Don't let 'Karen' tell you otherwise. She isn't the boss of you.
Lesson Three:
It is okay to keep a few secrets. Not everything is meant for public consumption.
You don't owe people anything, and you don't need to explain yourself to everyone. You can pursue things in life that make you feel wholly alive and not first run it by the world for approval. You are a grown-ass woman, and you don't need to ask your mom (or butcher or baker or candlestick maker) what her opinion might be. Other people don't get to litmus test your joy. People don't know what your soul howls for. Only you do. Share your secrets and passions wisely.
Lesson Four:
Believe you are worthy of living fully.
Confession: I was the worst pole dancer ever. Every inch of my body was bruised. My neck ached from falling on my head. Somedays, I could barely move my muscles were so sore, but the rush of satisfaction I got when I inverted myself on that pole for the first time is something I'll never forget. I've never been stronger in my life. I pursued pole dancing not because I wanted a paying side gig (pleeease!) but because I wanted a challenge, because I wanted a thrill, and I knew one day it would be a great story to tell in my old age. You are worthy of fun, of funny stories, of challenges, of excitement, of the good kind of fear, of the feeling of accomplishment. Own your worthiness. Own your life.
Excerpt from Lessons I learned As A Pole Dancing Preacher Mom,
T-Ann is a cognitive-behavioral practitioner and life coach. She and her daughter recently co-founded The Confidence Triangle, a premier confidence training program for girls. Their mission is to equip girls with the tools and strategies to create a lifetime of strength, resilience, and happiness. T-Ann and her husband have four kids and are so close to being empty nesters they can smell it. She loves the sun on her cheeks and sand between her toes. Her desert island necessity is Skippy Peanut butter. Creamy.
Contact T-Ann Pierce
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